I feel like every summer, I learn something about myself or the people I surround myself with and I grow. This summer, was a summer of self learning. If you know me in real life or start following this blog, you will come to find out that I am the most indecisive person on the planet, which is why picking a major, has been like pulling out teeth. I’m going into my third year of college and it wasn’t until maybe a month ago, I made a finite decision on what I want to do.
When I graduated from High School in 2013,I wasn’t in a very good place. I’ve never really been good at transitioning and a lot happens in the summer between High School to College. I had to deal with all of the things that come along with getting ready for college and friend drama. It came to the point that I just stopped talking to nearly all of them because I just couldn’t deal with it and prepare for school.
When I started my first year of college, I was already tired. I was going to a school I always swore I’d never go to. I was living in the dorms with girls I didn’t particularly care for and I felt like I had no control over anything at all. Being the minor control freak that I am, that was a huge problem.Instead of dealing with the problems, I threw myself into school. At the time, my major was Literature and Writing and I decided to become my major.
I started reading all of these books that I other wise would have never read in order to seem like I belonged with the Lit kids. I was fine for a while but after a month or so of that, I stopped. As much as I love books and writing, I can’t major in it. I only enjoyed two of the classes relating to my major. There wasn’t anything wrong with the others they just didn’t peak my interest.
My second year was a lot better, my personal life not so much academic. I lived in the dorms again and got roommates that I got along with. They were all great, for the most part. I still talk to most of them and they’re probably some of the best people I’ve meet since I started college.The only problem was that I was still miserable in my classes. I think it’s because I wanted to go to FIDM in Los Angeles but I couldn’t, because of my own poor planning.
Even though I felt like I was giving up on a dream before I got a chance,I put my interest in fashion on the back burner for the past two years. I wanted to try to make the most out of where I am because a lot of people can’t go to college and I’m lucky enough to be able too.I didn’t want to be ungrateful or entitled. I didn’t realize that this was why I was unhappy with my studies until I started going to my new hair stylist a month ago. I feel like hair stylist know everything about life. I’m not sure why but they just do. I was talking to her about college and without even realizing it, I began talking about FIDM. I told her all the excuses that I’ve feed myself over the past two years.
She looked at me for awhile, a thoughtful look on her face before she told me to do the exact same thing my parents have been telling me to do. If I want to go to a fashion school, go after college. Until then, work on learning all I can learn about what I want to do before I go and prepare myself for the competitive nature of the industry I want to be apart of. I talked to my mom about it and she said that was why they wanted me to go to college first. They wanted to make sure that I was serious about it before I went.
Now that I’m serious about it, I’ve made a lot of changes in the last couple of weeks.I’ve changed my major to Communications with a minor in women’s studies and I’m going to apply to FIDM after I get my bachelors. I’ve spent the past two years of my life telling myself that I’m not going to make it anyways, so why even try. I guess what I’m trying to say is, this summer I that the outcome of my life, is my choice. If I want something to happen, I have to at least try. I owe at least that to myself.